Am I Looking at My Future?
by Muffy the Dough Slayer
Summary: Just a small drabble for people to read while I 'try' and write the next chapter of Hear Me Now. Dean's thoughts, I guess, while he's in the future in 5.04 and how he views things at the time. Please review! Rated for some language. COMPLETE.


Just a small drabble that came to mind while listening to the song 'Is There Anybody Out There?' by Secondhand Serenade. The title is from that song, lol. Anywho, I figured that I should post at least a little something, since I didn't yesterday or anything. I don't know when the next update on Hear Me Now will be, but I will try to make it by tomorrow, okay? Maybe even tonight, if this headache ever goes away. Today has been so long and horrible. Six hours of testing! First the PSAT test and then my Psych 101 test...ugh...anyway, lol. I'm getting back into my angsty mood so yay! I'm much better at angst, I think, than happy-go-lucky stories and everything. Anywho, thanks for reading! There is no slash in this one. ;)

Enjoy! Please review!

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**Am I Staring at My Future?**

When Dean was thrown into the future, he thought, _Okay, well, maybe this can work to my advantage. I can figure a few things out_. But that was then, and now that he's seen his future self and the cold-hearted jerk he's become, he's not so sure this is the future he wants. What could have changed him so much? Castiel is changed too, but when he says that he 'likes past Dean better', Dean knows that's true. He can see it in the former-angel's eyes. And he knows that Zachariah will eventually send him back to his place on the calendar, but until then, he constantly wonders…

Is he staring at his future? Is this what he becomes? Is there a way to stop it? He doesn't accept this future, this reality. Sam can't be the devil, Cas can't be a _human_ because of him, and he can't be that big of a bastard that he can kill someone in cold blood and not even blink. With this cold view of his future self, it's not so hard for Dean to see the lie on his mirror-image's face when he declares that they're going to just walk in. He knows it's a trap and he knows Future Dean knows that too, so why is he doing this?

Confronting himself about it - and he can't believe he's saying that - doesn't help in the slightest. In fact, it only worsens his opinion and thoughts on his future self, and he can't help but wonder at the broken man he's become. What caused this to happen? Before he can think much on it, he's punched and knocked out by his own hand, and how tragically ironic is that? Then again, no one was ever better at beating up on him than him himself.

When he wakes, he watches his future self die, his neck twisted and broken under the foot of his former brother now-turned-devil. Not Sam anymore, he realizes as the man dressed in white - again, ironic, eh? - turns toward him with a slightly startled expression on his face, as though he can't believe there's two.

Not-Sam speaks his name, slow and calm. "Dean."

And Dean has to swallow because, damn it, that _sounds_ like his brother, looks like his brother, _is_ his brother…and yet this is not Sam. He forces that thought through his mind. Sammy is gone. That light in his eyes is gone, changed into a dull void that can only be explained by someone who has seen the fiery disaster that is hell. Sammy is gone and he's not coming back, and Dean has to take a moment to really let that seep in. Tears begin to sting his eyes but he's not going to cry, not for the joy of this bastard, this…_devil_. _The_ devil. Lucifer in his little brother's body.

Sammy's body. Sammy, who Dean practically raised. Sammy, who Dean had taken out of the house where their mother was killed. Sammy, who Dean had fixed sandwiches for. Sammy, who had spoken 'Dee' as his first word when he was a baby. Sammy, who used to follow him everywhere. Sammy…who's gone now.

_Please tell me this isn't my future…tell me I'm not looking at it now,_ Dean thinks fervently, trying to stifle the conflicting emotions within him. Calling Sammy a son of a bitch is hard because it's _Sam's_ body, his brother, but yet it's also the devil…an evil bastard who deserves to die. But not Sam…never Sammy.

And so when Zachariah comes and takes him back to his own time, Dean is relieved to be away from that place. Relieved and yet so horrified of what he's seen, what he eventually becomes, what he's done to Cas and…_Sammy_…He knows he has to make things right, somehow. He stops that from happening. He can change it. He knows he can. He's a Winchester, after all, and Winchester's don't follow anyone's plans or anyone's damn rules. They make their own choices and follow their own paths, and Dean will always choose his baby brother. He'll always choose family, because to him, family is everything. Without Sam, he's nothing. He's just some broken guy…The future version of him has shown him that to be true. And he's not going to let that happen. Ever.

Cas transports him to the side of the road and Dean wishes he could make the angel grasp how much desperation and meaning he puts into those three simple words:

"Don't ever change."

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Yep, not that long and I don't know if it makes any sense...but in my defense, I have a bad headache due to too much testing today. My brain, as my chemistry teacher so elegantly put it, is fried. (We got to watch movies in his class today 'cause a bunch of people took the PSAT test before his class and so he said we wouldn't be able to learn anyway, haha.) Thanks for reading! Please review! Hopefully I can post more of Hear Me Now. If you have been following it, I thank you! And if you haven't...why not? lol jk. Anywho! Thanks again!

~Muffy the Dough Slayer~


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